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?Funny, very funny.?Not long after that, I was called into see Dr. Laura Meyers. Shehad a very large office, complete with a couple of overstuffedchairs, a sofa, and lots of file cabinets. There were lots of diplomashanging on the walls, but I couldn?t tell from what school, or whatthey were for, or even what kind of doctor she was.?Hello, William. Is it Bill, or maybe Billy?? she asked as weshook hands.?Will,? I said with a shrug and sat down. At least, Mom hadn?tfollowed me inside. ?And you are thirteen???I?ll be fourteen next week,? I pointed out. She looked nice, Imean from the way she smiled. She had light brown hair, grayeyes, and a lot of laugh lines.?So, have you ever been to a counselor before? A shrink?? I shook my head. ?No, but I am going nuts.??So I understand. Don?t worry. I think all kids are a bit crazy, butmost of them grow out of it. We?ve never met before, and if I askyou something that you don?t want to answer, it?s okay, just let meknow-or, if. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the 1950s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on the Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” the official said.Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage, buying up all the hip hop CDs, and renting all of the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t absorb and support.
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